A Confession, Then A Prayer

 I feel like my relationship with GOD is growing into one that requires me to be ever more transparent in all aspects of my life. Why transparent? Well, when you see this blog, I don't want you to see me. Rather, I want you to see THE LORD and HIS POWER and BLESSINGS in every lesson HE teaches and has taught me. I write not for "Rachel Glory", I write for GOD'S GLORY. I want you to realize that confession and prayer are things I can do for myself in which I feel closer to and more complete in CHRIST.

Now, does that mean all future posts will be ones of confession and prayer? No, because I want to tell GOD'S Story in my her-story. This sometimes shows up as pondering and sometimes as narratives, actually they show up in lots of ways. Today however, this post is delivered in confession and prayer.

Part 1 Confession

LORD,

Why is it that knowing how broken I am as a person I can still act with such arrogance like I am not broken? Why at the sametime I am understanding brokenness, I am disavowing its presence in my life and my habits? Why do I continue to walk into my own person little 'sin'k hole?

How can I know with certainity that every person on the planet is broken, yet I fail to observe and/or recognize just that when I consider others' lives?

Why do I alway think of others' actions as having evil intent, and yet I think my actions are just misguided intentions? Why don't I confess that regarding my actions I consider misguided, those same actions really do have ill intent? Yes, even more why don't I continually confess my evil intentions, evil intentions compared to the Intentions of GOD?

Why do I question everyone else's intentions, and never my own?

How can I be so naive about my actions and motivations, and yet be so cynical about those same things when regarding my fellow man- and women-kind?

I confess it seems ironic to me that a large group of relatives, acquiantances and yes, I'm afraid, even some friends find me very gullible; Because in my heart I know that the moment of the head-fake gets me everytime but and I recgonize it, I will feel angry at and hurt from the person"s" who had me following the bouncing ball.

I confess I am troubled by my inability to leave behind my resentful thoughts toward that ball-bouncer's use of my vulnerablitiy, even if it were 'in all good, clean fun.'

How can I continue failing to see all others who are broken, hurting people, fail to see their needs and their pain?

I confess my wilfull blindness.

I confess this is a grave-worthy sin.

I confess my insensitivity.

I confess this is a sin.

I confess that I often think life is all about me.

I confess I am, I truly am a horrible friend.

I confess that only because JESUS, our BEST FRIEND, HIMSELF has pried my eyes open, I can and want to evolve in my conscienceness and one day I can show true friendship as defined by The FRIEND Who SAVES Us By HIS GRACE.

Part 2: Prayer

Having made my personal confessions, Nehemiah reminds me that collective confession is profound and purifying. Here is a prayer, which I wrote for and read to my Hope Family:

SON Of GOD,

YOU do marvelous things for us, YOUR Siblings. YOUR Revelation of freedom has changed how we live from day to day. The freedom YOU offer captives is the tangible evidence of our hope, our peace and our joy.

We confess that captivity is familiar and comfortable. We confess our failure to notice our prison doors have been unlocked by YOU and that they remain open because of YOUR Faithfulness.

And even when we fail to see the open door, still we are thankful for our hope of freedom. We are thankful for YOU The WORD which reminds us with each sentence to live in the freedom YOU have already bought us with the spilling of YOUR Life's Blood.

LORD,

Please help each of YOUR Bridal Party here assembled to encourage one another with the knowledge we are no longer chained to the obstacles preventing us from being joined as one with YOU, our BRIDEGROOM.

May these words be acceptable to YOU and to The FATHER and to The SPIRIT whose strength allowed them to be spoken,

Amen.

JESUS said to the people who believed in HIM, “You are truly MY Disciples if you remain faithful to MY Teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

“But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do YOU mean, 'You will be set free'?”

JESUS replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if The SON sets you free, you are truly free.

From John 8:31-36 New Living Translation.

JESUS, thank YOU for inviting us into YOUR Forever Family. Amen.

It's Not Just a Song by Three Dog Night

an original poem by yours truly [rachel] to honor Hope's elders who have called us to deliberate and overt witnesses this Autumn 2010


Me & You and YOU & Me
Can I get a Witness?
Tell them who you are.
Tell them Whose you are.
Be a Witness!
People, get ready.
HE'll be coming for you soon.
People, Get Ready!
You'll know so soon!
Tell them Who HE IS!
Be a Witness.
Tell them what HE has done for you.
What has HE done for me?
Everything!
Everything, HE has done everything for me!
The LORD gave me sight and insight.
HE gave me two ears and one mouth.
HE gave me hearing and voice.
HE gave me Salt and a tongue to taste it.
HE gave me water and a thirst for LIVING WATER.
HE gave me hope and A  WAY, A  PATH to HIM.
HE gave me a rise to my step.
HE gave ARISE to my step.
HE gave me LIFE, abundant life, life anew.
HE gave me joy, joy, joy...oh such sweet and lasting true joy.
HE gave me Hope and LIGHT to lead me there.
The LORD gives me memory, memory of what HE has done;
Memory of what HE has done for me!
HE gives me shelter.
HE gives shelter under HIS Wings.
HE gives me shelter under HIS Eaves.
HE gives me A HOUSE of Holiness and a home;
A home for my heart and rest within it.
HE gives me HIS Outstretched Arms that hold me tight, tight, tight.
HE gives me A FATHER Who Loves Unconditionally.
HE gives me A BROTHER Who keeps me honest.
The LORD gave me lips to confess,
Confess HIS HOLY NAME!
The LORD gives me A FRIEND Who Comforts;
Who Wipes Away my every tear! and Who Hushes all my sobs!
What does GOD give me?
HE gives me everything!
Everything!
I will be a Witness!
Be a Witness too!
I will show what HE gives me! What HE has done for me!
Tell people what HE gives! what HE gives you!
I will tell them what HE gives! What HE gives me!
Show them what HE gives! Show them what HE gives you!
I desire to show Who HE  IS!
Reveal Who HE IS!
I hunger to display Who HE IS!
Can I get a Witness?
Yes!
Can I get a Witness to HIS Goodness, please?
Yes! Yes! Yes!

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

I have had a lot of time to do easy 'tasks' this week as Dr. James told me to get myself to bed and stay there. What have done with my time? Eat. Sleep. Read. Nap. Face time with the Internet. Slumbered. Watched Movies. You get the picture. 
Part of what I read was my journal. Yes, I am known for my habit of writing down funny stories, sermon notes, prayer requests and comments or thoughts I have which I want to ponder a little longer. [People tell me to take notes for them too, and I do. ; ) And some really appreciate me for doing so ; ) ] So my journal also has a place where I have written down passages of the Scriptures for various and a-sundry reasons. This week I looked at several of these passages but the one that really caught me amazed and begged me to think about was this one:
verse 7
Where can I go from YOUR SPIRIT? 
Where can I flee from YOUR PRESENCE?
verse 8
If I go up to the heavens, YOU are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, YOU are there.
from Psalm 139

Here are my riffs on this old, old song:
Ancient people have recorded their thoughts of what their 'heavens' held, what they were like, what they controlled, etc. But I don't think they ever pondered the idea of going up into outer space except as a metaphor of their current situation.
The twentieth century people did ponder the literal idea, the idea to go 'where no man has gone before', the idea that ancient humanity really and truly didn't think of as a literal one.
'To go up to the heavens?' Nope. Never. That's crazy talk. After all didn't the Ancients think the ark was Noah talking crazy?
Speaking as a 'Post-Modern' woman [which I only sorta think of myself as], Modern Individuals [men and women] queried over and over again in our history, Why can't we?
Why can't we inhabit the sky?
Why can't we go into space?
Why can't we go to the moon and back?
Why can't we live out there in the expanse of the heavens?
Why should we?
Why shouldn't we?
And that is just what they did, they answered all of those questions. In the 1900s we went places we had never gone to before; And you're right, I mean that literally and metaphorically.
After reading this Psalm and knowing 'we' had gone to the heavens, I asked myself some questions about those men and women who dared to dream and dared to go.
Have any of those 'space-age travelers' been religious?
Has any one human carried this GOD-Breathed Scripture out there past Earth's atmosphere?
Did s/he hide in her/his heart these words to ponder them while out there or did s/he have to write it down to take along the ride?
Did this person ask her/him-self to answer the questions posed in Psalm 139?
Did s/he look out the hatch window and feel that The PRESENCE Of The LORD there with her/him?
And looking further back into each explorers' personal history, if indeed a religious person was granted the opportunity to go; did that one person choose such arduous schooling, grueling training and the battle to travel because of these few lines of Scripture?
Did any of the people signing the paychecks of those chosen to experience weightlessness not in a plane but above the planet's plain; did those signers consider this simple poetry when they signed those slips of paper?
Was the refrain remembered in the choice made by all those people who helped make the reality of space travel? 
Was the verse remembered in the choice made by any of those people because Bible Scripture influenced their lives?

Was it because they wanted to experience GOD in that far away place out there?

Was their decision the same as or similar to what Ronald Reagan said about the Challenger Crew:
"they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to 'touch the face of GOD.'"?
Was it the Tower of Babel all over again?
Some of both?
How much of either?
Surely, the words that were written to The LORD in Psalm 139 are included in our Holy Bible because even before The LORD created though JESUS CHRIST with The WORD the world; The CREATOR foreknew that humanity would make its way out of its earthly boundaries and barriers to those self-same heavens the psalmist pondered and about which he cried out to GOD. Surely?

Thoughts on Thoughts

So recently I heard some communion thoughts that troubled me. After pondering them awhile I found I needed to respond to them in an orderly fashion. Here is my response to them...

Stop It!! Stop thinking that the Blood of CHRIST trickled down from HIS Brow while HE was hanging on the Salvation's Cross!! Because you are sadly mistaken if you think JESUS'S Bleeding was minimal!!

First, Scripture notes that JESUS was whipped and beaten by Roman soldiers. Roman [& Jewish] law prohibited no more than 39 lashes to be prescribed as punishment. At the end of this lashing, can you really imagine anything but CHRIST'S Flesh torn to shreds? And that was even before the soldiers taunted and beat HIM!! Ask yourself why it was needful for Simon to be recruited to help carry the cross to the site of CHRIST'S Crucifixion. This type of torture [ruled cruel and unusual punishment by the US Supreme Court] often resulted in internal injuries.

Further ask yourself what occurred at each of JESUS'S Trials. To me at least, it is clear how provocative and upsetting JESUS'S Non-Answers were to both Jewish and Roman officials. Again do you really think that neither of these trials were carried out without any physicality involved? JESUS wasn't slapped? JESUS did not carry bruises from HIS First Trial to HIS Second? Not one mark on HIS Flesh? Nothing?

And none of these ideas of the harm done to The LAMB'S Body include the actual nailing of JESUS'S Hands or HIS Feet onto the cross. Nor does it include the wounds inflicted by the Crown of Thorns stuck to HIS Wounded Head...because let me tell you, it was not intended to be a gentle experiencing with a bare prickling of the skin. No! Those thorns were put on with as much cruelty and viciousness, as damaging and mocking as humanly possible! In all probability, our SAVIOR'S Brow ended up looking like ground meat.

As modern society steps further and further away from the reality of being sentenced to be hanged on a cross until dead, whether that took days to accomplish or the knees are broken to speed up the process; we often think six hours on a cross is a long time, when in fact, JESUS'S Finish on earth was really quite rapid. Scripture remarks on the surprise the Roman soldiers felt when they came to break CHRIST'S knees and thus hurry our KING'S End and found HIM already dead...

So even the soldiers were shocked so significantly that they felt the need to 'make sure' HE was dead by piecing HIS Chest Cavity with a sword...

And let me continue to enlighten you as to the Cross's brutal reality. 'Water' did not pour out of JESUS'S 'S Stabbed-Through Side. Blood gushed out of CHRIST'S Torn Rib Cage; accompanied most probably with bone fragments, and perhaps bits of internal organs.

We must never again allow ourselves the thought that JESUS CHRIST'S Death only brought forth a few drops of blood. Let us always remember the cry JESUS screamed:

GOD, why have YOU forsaken ME?

It was delivered from a deep chasm, a deep reserve of unbearable pain. Only because my ETERNAL FRIEND sacrificed HIMSELF in such agony can I never be forsaken, abandoned or be separated by The LORD or HIS LOVE.

Child-Like Wonder

WARNING! You may read this as "doubt". It is NOT! It is thinking about The LORD GOD like I encountered HIM as a child. Not childishly, but thinking of HIM with awe and delight. You know, like when you wondered what GOD was like before Adam and Eve.


And I realize [and you should remember] we can never completely understand The LORD Our GOD...because HE does more than we can ask or even imagine...&...my wisdom is HIS Foolishness...These are just some of my imaginings.



The other night my church held a mini-retreat called JESUS Night. Part of the evening was a time for reading and/or meditation. I [and others] could read a book or an article or my/our Bible[s] about The MESSIAH spread throughout the building in the rooms softly lit. Shortly after that time we shared fellowship over a snack and art. These ponderings came out of that communal conversation.


One of the participates, Brooke, talking about the book she read, commented on the physical danger to both Mary and her SON JESUS at HIS Birth in a stable and being lain in a manger covered with all the germs animals carry in their mouths. Because here in the USA, things are so very 'sanitary', sometimes we forget, even now, of the ongoing danger to most mothers and babies when they deliver their children in a Third World country [with the exception of the exorbitantly wealthy in those countries].....


So...


Consider that JESUS was fully human and fully GOD; and that Mary delivered HIM safely, as well as several other children. What are the implications here? Would it even be possible for HIM to die of natural causes? The flu? Bronchitis? Or as The IMMORTAL HEAVENLY HOLY SPIRIT did HE have to be murdered in order to die? Could HE not just die in an accident?

Don't mistake me. I appreciate why JESUS The CHRIST had to be slaughtered. These are "what if" kind of questions.


Also...


As you probably know, I have been puny almost since birth with such ill health that it has hounded me throughout my life, & hinders me even today. [Although I am really very healthy right now. HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU, FATHER!]
So these comments pours out of that place of long-term illness and debilitated stance.

Hebrews speaks of how having lived a human life, JESUS has felt every emotion known [and probably some that aren't], including those I have personally felt and currently feel [My Heart-thoughts are how blessed I am.] and will ever feel in the future.

But how did HE experience the emotions I experienced throughout my years of struggle & affliction? How did that appear in JESUS's Life? What shape did it take on? Did HE think of sin as the only true long-term disease with which all of us are plagued?
OR...
Was HE sickly as a child? Did HE relate to an ailing sibling and/or parent? Did HE have allergies that were annoyingly there all the time? As GOD, could The CHRIST even get sick?
Like I said, not doubt, just wondering.


And...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! Damon and Melody!

I Wanted to Share

So, one thing I learned while in San Francisco, The LORD blessed me with two church families and I want to share their websites and blog with you.

http://www.ikonsf.org
and

http://www.stjamessf.org
Enjoy!

The FATHER, The SON & The SPIRIT

So, I have been back 'home' in Texas for about 4 weeks. I am very thankful for the lessons I learned during my time with the citizens of San Francisco.
So, that is to tell you that I am alive and well, except for some broken toes before I move on to another subject.
Since I arrived home my church has talked about GOD The FATHER, GOD The SON & GOD The SPIRIT and living in step with HIM in the road map HE designed for each of us, rather than straying onto one of our own scribbles, . I was blessed by The SPIRIT with the prayer I am sharing with you during Communion two Sundays ago. Please read it as the prayer it is and add your own praise and petitions you need to bring before The LORD.
Christian Love, Blessings & Prayers,
Rachel
Isaiah 41:13

I had a conversation years ago with a woman who had buried two husbands when she met and married her 'Soul Mate.' D. had ushered her into faith in and acceptance of JESUS CHRIST, and then nurtured her reliance on and love for The LORD throughout their marriage. L. and D conceived what would be their only child, a son. When we had this conversation, this son was around age two.
That night she remarked about her awe she felt when he completed each 'first'. She glowed as she described her cooing over her son. How she had called her husband into the nursery the first time she changed a poopy diaper. Excitedly she exclaimed, "Look what our son did! Ha! Ha! Isn't it amazing? Ha! Ha!"
During Communion as I reflected on her description of her own delight over each of of her only child's feats...
I realized...
I can't imagine YOUR Reaction to YOUR SON'S 'First' Accomplishments.
LORD, was YOUR Delight like hers?
We read that all of heaven held its breath in anticipation of the birth of The CHRIST CHILD.
Is the above description why they did?
Was heaven waiting to sigh with awe and delight?
Like a mother who knows her first child is also her last, did heaven coo like that?
Did YOU, LORD?
Did heaven wait with bated breath for each of The MESSIAH'S Firsts?
First breath?
First time HE cried actual tears?
The first tooth?
HIS First Laugh?
Did YOU also delight in this manner?
This cooing?
Was this The Point of it all?
Was this The Point of The Crucifixion?
Was it about YOUR SON'S First Sacrifice?
Was that why HE was hanged, nailed to a tree for 6 hours?
Did YOU delight in HIM then?